This is an ongoing saga, a tale of woe and triumph!  It is an analogy, a metaphor, a made up story, that mirrors something real. 

The made up story- A princess finds her castle, her boundaries, befriends a dragon, and lives happily ever after.

The something real- chronic anxiety, fear, doubt, unhappiness, not functioning, being afraid, feeling stuck, feeling like you’re gonna be sick, and generally not feeling awesome.

The situation

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was a mostly normal girl who took great strides to do everything her best. She pushed herself to do things right and P-E-R-F-E-C-T. She pushed and pushed, and after years of pushing, she found herself precariously locked in a tower. The tower was dreary and unpleasant. It was guarded by dragon who was fearsome and scary.

Interestingly, the girl was never actually “locked” in the tower. She stayed there of her own accord because, no matter where she went, the dragon was following; oppressive and daunting. When she was in the tower, sometimes the dragon would go to sleep and she would not have to witness his oppressive behavior and listen to his lame attempts at show tunes. She would stay in her tower where it was safe, and the dragon would sleep very nearby.

Now then, life does not make it possible to exist in a secluded tower. Alas, there are things one must do in order to survive. It requires leaving the safety of the tower to go to the grocery store, the doctor, a friend’s house, a restaurant, but it mattered not where the girl went; the dragon was always lurking close by. In order to survive, the girl discovered that by simply paying attention, she could know when it was safe to leave the tower. She would observe which days the dragon was at his worst and which days the dragon was very pleasant. She found that she could get out and about with greater ease on the days the dragon was in a better mood. This is how she was able to do those things that had to be done. She used this strategy to navigate situations that might otherwise be impossible.

So it begins. The girl had learned to observe the dragon, and in doing so, found some safe boundaries. This is how this mostly normal girl became a Prin-cess.

Note too foot~ I mean foot note! If this story makes no sense to you I'm really sorry.  I tried to make it make sense.  It might be helpful to know the players.  The part of the girl/princess is played by Trish. The part of the Dragon is being played by Chronic Anxiety. The part of the tower is being played by the bedroom. I hope that helps.

For many of us the word ritual conjures up images from popular movies of human sacrifice, evil chanting and VOODOO! Much of our culture has missed the meaning of this word, so I think it is important that we revisit it's basic meaning and get an idea of what we are really talking about here.

What is ritual? Wikipedia defines ritual as; any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner. This could include behaviors regulating social conduct like a gentleman raising his hat, or the shaking of hands in greeting.  Ritual could also include an established procedure for a religious or other rite, including graduation, and praying over a meal.

If you look at your daily activities you may find that your life is filled with ritual that you didn’t even know about. Much of our ritual is simple repetition of things that are a necessity to living life; your morning coffee or tea, your morning exercise program, the simple act of brushing your teeth. Life is filled with ritual.

Ritual becomes a dedicated practice when we perform these actions with intention rather than simply repeating them out of habit. For example, I brush my teeth every day because I appreciate them and want them to stay healthy and strong. I move my body every day because I am grateful to have a body that can move and I want it to be a happy place to exist. I pray every day because it helps me stay connected to what is important to me.

I grew up in a place where the word ritual was not used, but we did have traditions. Often these traditional type practices are passed down from one generation to the next. As I began my family I felt an urge to continue the same family traditions I grew up with for certain holidays or events.  The yearly pattern of performing your family holiday traditions is a ritual. Ritual is very personal. It is something that you can use to keep your life filled with meaning, whether it is religious or not you will find your life enriched by starting simple rituals in your life.

Think of some areas of your life that you may want to improve. Then set an intention to begin a ritual to support that goal. For example if you want to stay in better contact with friends you might begin a ritual of meeting for lunch on the 4^th Tuesday of each month. If you want to deepen your yoga practice you might begin your practice by lighting a candle and set an intention that your practice be a light to guide you in your daily activities. The act of taking your dogs out every morning can be made more meaning full by taking a deep breath of fresh air when you step outside and being grateful for it!

I hope this has given you an opportunity to reflect on the rituals you already use in your life.  And that it has opened a door for you to explore other ways to incorporate meaningful rituals into your daily practices. Enjoy!

Note to foot~I mean foot note~ These are very simple ideas for adding ritual to your life, there are endless others, so many that there is no way I could possibly mention them all. Play with this idea yourself and see what happens.