This is an ongoing saga, a tale of woe and triumph! It is an analogy, a metaphor, a made up story, that mirrors something real.
The made up story- A princess finds her castle, her boundaries, befriends a dragon, and lives happily ever after.
The something real- chronic anxiety, fear, doubt, unhappiness, not functioning, being afraid, feeling stuck, feeling like you’re gonna be sick, and generally not feeling awesome.
The situation
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was a mostly normal girl who took great strides to do everything her best. She pushed herself to do things right and P-E-R-F-E-C-T. She pushed and pushed, and after years of pushing, she found herself precariously locked in a tower. The tower was dreary and unpleasant. It was guarded by dragon who was fearsome and scary.
Interestingly, the girl was never actually “locked” in the tower. She stayed there of her own accord because, no matter where she went, the dragon was following; oppressive and daunting. When she was in the tower, sometimes the dragon would go to sleep and she would not have to witness his oppressive behavior and listen to his lame attempts at show tunes. She would stay in her tower where it was safe, and the dragon would sleep very nearby.
Now then, life does not make it possible to exist in a secluded tower. Alas, there are things one must do in order to survive. It requires leaving the safety of the tower to go to the grocery store, the doctor, a friend’s house, a restaurant, but it mattered not where the girl went; the dragon was always lurking close by. In order to survive, the girl discovered that by simply paying attention, she could know when it was safe to leave the tower. She would observe which days the dragon was at his worst and which days the dragon was very pleasant. She found that she could get out and about with greater ease on the days the dragon was in a better mood. This is how she was able to do those things that had to be done. She used this strategy to navigate situations that might otherwise be impossible.
So it begins. The girl had learned to observe the dragon, and in doing so, found some safe boundaries. This is how this mostly normal girl became a Prin-cess.
Note too foot~ I mean foot note! If this story makes no sense to you I'm really sorry. I tried to make it make sense. It might be helpful to know the players. The part of the girl/princess is played by Trish. The part of the Dragon is being played by Chronic Anxiety. The part of the tower is being played by the bedroom. I hope that helps.